I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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