im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just forgot I was standing up.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
