My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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