Me too!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
