You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
