It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
