I CAN MOONWALK!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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