Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
