no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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