the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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