I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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