Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
