I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
