i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
