You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
