I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
