yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
