sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
