i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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