why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
