Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
