remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
