I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Randomize
