it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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