I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
