at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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