its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
