Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think I sprained my soul last night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
