If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
