She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize