I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
