My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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