i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
