HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
