We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
