I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
