She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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