I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
