so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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