Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
