dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
