sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
