You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
