Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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