ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I had to cum in my sink.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
