I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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