Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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