No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
