There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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