Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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