you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
