he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
