I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
