Its about making memories worth repressing
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
