I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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