Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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