trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
