if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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