Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
