We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
