I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
