fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
