there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
