Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
